I'M BACK!

*stumbles lazily into blogger world* "Omg, people are wondering where I am! Better do an update." ^_^


Hi people! No I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth. . .at least not yet.

As you know from the last post I've been taking summer courses at school, and I wasn't supposed to be done until tomorrow, but I did some rescheduling. I received an invitation to Leadership Camp. . . yes first thing I thought is what the heck is Leadership Camp!? Sounds boring. .

So this invitation turns out to be FFA type deal, and from what I've heard it's not boring at all, it's not even a camp! (yay I hate camps!) We will be staying at college dorms and I won't be w/ people I don't know cause my two friends Lisa and Lizzy are going too. Lizzy had gone the year before also and she said that there was going to be a bunch of activities, such as Olympics (sports lol), 2 dances, and a banquet to name a few.

But as for school there was a conflict. We would leave for Leadership Camp at 8:30 a.m. Moday, but I had my Final on the same day at 10 a.m.!! After talking to Mr. Bailey he agreed to move my test up to Friday, so I sorta "studied" all Wednesday and Thursday afternoons and made a 100 on my test so yay for me!! LOL

So now I'm gonna visit your sites and see if I've hadn't missed anything important (hope I didn't) Then I'm gonna get packing to leave for tomorrow, I've kinda been procrastinating. . O_o

Ok, bye for now, see ya again when I'm back!! *waves*


P.S.-I think I had too much caffine!

My japanese name is 森田 Morita (forest field) 雄大 Masahiro (big hero).
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A WEIRD DAY CALLED FATHER'S DAY


Ah, today is father's day, the day you are supposed to honor your father. And surprisingly I did just that. We actually hugged! Isn't that amazing? I took him to Long John Silver's cause that's my dad's favorite restaurant, and tonight we are cooking to BBQ on a small grill that we have. ^_^


Things are looking up. The nurse lady still comes to our house, but she was virtually no influence on my dad, and he's basically stopped going to the Jehovah's Witnesses' place. I find it very ironic that four years ago, the Jehovah's Witnesses came to our doorstep, promising happiness, and that me and my dad would be happier than we ever were before. And now we are close, but not because of them, but because we both stopped going w/ them to church. My dad's not going to any church now, but we are happy now that the JW's are out of the picture.

I can now say once again, after almost 4 years of fighting, that I love my dad.


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!

BACK TO SCHOOL!!

Ah, I know what what you're thinking. . . School!? But we're in the middle of summer!! Yes it's back to school for me. You see this summer I signed up for one of the summer courses my school is offering. I'm taking economics.

You may wonder, why take summer courses? Answer is simple, and no I'm not taking them because I failed, I'm taking them so I won't have to take them in the school year, and I have time to take other classes I want to. Plus, I'd rather only take nine days of a class than a whole semester. The way my schedule is right now, I only have one class, which is AP English 4, my senior year. Clears up my schedule so I can take some extracurricular activities, and also take some college courses my senior year. So yea, sacrifiing a few days of my summer is worth it later! ^_^

I'm also gonna volunteer at the local library, so I can rack up some hours for my college application. . . yea can you tell the nerd in me is showing, lol!


Well, I'm off to watch some Taikwondo,more on that later, bye!

MOVIES AND A QUESTION: DO YOU BELIEVE!?

Well, I finally got to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban w/ some friends, though that's not what I planned to see. (Originally we were gonna watch The Day After Tommorow, but it has yet to come to our small town, and it's getting me mad!! LOL. One thing I have to say, I don't think the movie gives the book justice. Though it's been awhile since I've read the book, and I don't remember all the details, I do remember some major things that the movie left out. All in all I think the movie is great and hopefully will encourage those who haven't read the books yet.

P.S.- Do you guys remember when fat lady gets scared and all of Harry's class has to sleep in the great hall? Well, remember the ceiling w/ a bunch of stars and galaxies on it? I WANT A CEILING LIKE THAT!!!!





Ok. . . the next few paragraphs may bore you, but I do have some arguments I feel I must point out.

As you know, I've recently accepted God, and my dad isn't very happy. He wishes that I would have accepted God w/ the Jehovah's Witnesses, not w/ CornerStone Fellowship. I must say, that though my dad's been persecuting me everyday about my choice of church, I'm happier than I ever was in the Jehovah's witness, or the Catholic Church, or any other churches that I've failed to mention.

I'll come back to this later, but I wanted to rant on about atheists. You know, some of you reading this are atheists, I have real life friends who are atheists and I have no problem w/ it. What I do have a problem w/ is people who call themselves Christian, but really aren't! And it gets me so mad 'cause they always talk about their faith in God, and they put others who are not Christian down. But who are they to do this, when they really don't believe, or have a relationship w/ Him!? They are just a bunch of hypocrites, and I really hate hypocrites, especially those who use religion to put others down, and go parading about how they are "better" than others who aren't!

America is just a hypocrite nation, we are suspossed to be a "Christian Nation" yet we break the simplest of laws, and just follow the crowd to church. People go to church, just because their parents told them to when they were young, not because they believe. They. . . wow. . . I have no words to descibe them. . they are just low.

At my current church, you go in, and you KNOW that everyone believes in God, and aren't just following the crowd, or going through the motions unfaithfully. I wish there were more churches like CornerStone, maybe we'd actually have people that would believe.

I've been to alot of churches in my lifetime, and have been miserable in all of them, none of them made me actually believe in God, and others actually made hate God. The reason I went into this rant was because today me and others in our worship band went to Midland, a surburban semi-city near my little town. We went their because a church there needed us to play, because they've needed a band for quite some time. So anyways we go, and the feeling was like. . . negative to say the least. Almost every single person there was an atheist, or hated God, yet they all go to that church there every Sunday, for the heck of it!! They go through the motions, say Amen at the proper time, stand and sit at the right time, all lie by saying they love God. Then they go home, and guess what? It's back to the "real" world, it's like God has no place outside of church.


Once again, I have many friends who flat out don't believe in God, but I still love them and they are some of my best friends. I just don't like pharisees!! So I have just some advice for everyone who reads this: If you believe in God, do what you think is best, whether stay in the church you are in, or find a better one!! And if you don't believe in God, don't go to church, don't lie to yourself or anyone else!!


Now back to my dad. . . If you are a Christian, don't be a dull one!! Don't parade around like you are better than other people!! That's what my dad does and I hate him for it. He says that he's a "real Christian" that he devotes his life to God, and never has fun, for it is supposedly the devil's work to have fun. . . like WTF!?!? He says that I should never have fun, he doesn't want me to be w/ friends, he doesn't want me to experience new things. . . And to tell you the truth, my dad is miserable at the Jehovah's Witness' place, yet he is so brainwashed, so used to going through the motions, that he'll protect them, and is too afraid to leave, for fear of what they may say. Yes, my dad's an atheist, but he's too afraid to admit it. . . it's just really sad.



If you don't remember anything else from this post, just remember, don't pretend to be something you're not, whether it be in religion, or anything else, 'cause you will be miserable your entire life.

MASTERY AND BOREDOM!!!!

Well, I got invited to swim again, this time w/ my youth band group. So I asked my dad nicely if I could go, and he said yes. . . I was surprised by that. As you may know from the last few posts, I can't swim very well, much less dive into the deep end. And that's exactly what Jonathan and Christy wanted me to do. . . o_O

After alot of pushing, coaxing, and daring, I finally dived!! It was so much fun, and I actually didn't drown, lol. So I dived like three times, and I have to say I have mastered the swimming pool!!! BWUAHAHAHA!!! Bow down to my swimming expertise!!

Sad thing is, after all that I had to go home. . . to my dad, enough about my dad.



Now here comes the boredom part: I was so bored today I took more quizzes!

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP SOULTAKER21X AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

But I like the fire! ooo Lemme get just a little closer, please!?




Hmm. . . Funny, my favorite color is blue. . .



RASPBERRIES!!!!

NEW SKIN AND SOME DOUBTS

Well, this is my new skin! I know it may look sloppy, but I like it, and of course it's covered w/ variations of blue. (Part of the reason I didn't use the skin I had previously made, 'cause it wasn't blue)

If the pics look familiar, it's because I used snapshots of the new Linkin Park video, "Breaking The Habit" I simply love this video, the emotion it creates, the authentic anime drawings, and of course 'cause it's my favorite band.

As you notice, there's a marquee above the posts, if you can't read it, here's what it says:

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
[Unless I try to start again]

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I have no options left again

I'll paint it on the walls
Cuz I'm the one that fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends. . .




I haven't done anything since my last post, besides making this skin. I've been kind of grounded. . . (Grounded is an understatement) Anyways, if you remember from the last post, there was this girl that supposedly came to look for me when I was gone. Well, I found it kinda convenient that the girl hasn't shown up while I've been here. I'm beginning to think that my dad made up the person, just so he can have another excuse to yell at me. . . am I being paranoid? Then again, if I am, I don't think you can blame me. . .

SWIMMING, PREGNANCY, SUICIDE

So this past week, my friends have decided that I will learn how to swim, whether I like it or not. First it was Josh and Kevin. They took me to the Park Terrece pool and had some progress. . . let's leave it at that, heck it was my first time in a pool. (yea, I know I'm 16, and I haven't been in a pool before) Then my next three sessions I have actually swam, if you can call slowing trending water, but not sinking, swimming. I think I made more progress these past days, cause my other friend, Jonathan, made me get into the deep end, where my feet can't touch the bottom.

Anyways, after my second session, which was Sunday, I came home, nothing happened didn't get yelled at, that is until Jonathan drove away. . . Then my dad went off on me. . . He accused me of getting a girl pregnant!!! Like WTF!?!?! apparently a girl had come to my house looking for me, and she was carrying a little girl, hmm. . . I have no idea who the girl is, cause my dad won't tell me. Well, today, after I came home from the Cornerstone Swimming party. My dad said the girl came again, and that he is disappointed in me giving in to sexual urges. . . umm? Ok, to clear something up, I'VE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE!!! I have no idea who this girl is, why she has a little girl, or why she's looking for me!

I hate that my dad doesn't trust me anymore, at all. Every speck of trust has been taken away ever since I got kicked out of the house. *sigh* I just pray and scream. Have you ever thought of suicide? I have, a lot lately. . . My dad yells more, then acts like he cares when others are around, but when we are alone, most of the time we are yelling, fighting, and me. . . crying. I just feel so weak. This summer I've had periods of happiness and extreme sadness, all at the same time. It's really weird, and I have no idea how to explain it.




Where should I start? Disjointed heart. . .
I've got no commitment to my own flesh and blood
Left all alone, far from my home
No one to hear me, to heal my ill heart.
I keep it locked up inside!

Cannot express, to the point I've regressed
If anger's a gift, then I guess I've been blessed.

I keep it locked up inside,
I keep my distance from your lies.

It's too late to love me now, you helped to show me
It's too late to love me now, you don't even know me

Breaking a part of my heart to find release
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace



But, no, I won't commit suicide, I won't give my dad that satisfaction. I also have to much to live for, plus you can't commit suidcide when you're in love can you? ;)

Bye, and as always, thanks for reading.